


I heard you crying

by Prongs_writes



Series: To be heard [2]
Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Angst, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Anxiety, Anxious Lance (Voltron), Crying, Crying Lance (Voltron), Depressed Lance (Voltron), Depression, Fluff, Gay Keith (Voltron), Homesick Lance (Voltron), Hurt Lance (Voltron), Hurt/Comfort, Insecure Lance (Voltron), Keith (Voltron) is Bad at Feelings, Keith/Lance (Voltron) Angst, Keith/Lance (Voltron) Fluff, Lance (Voltron) Angst, Langst, Lots of Crying, M/M, Sad Lance (Voltron), Sobbing, Socially Awkward Keith (Voltron), Suicidal Thoughts, also has a small crush on him but that's not the point, but not really, he does a good job, just a lot of feelings, keith comforts lance, kinda happy but mostly sad, more like a friendship klance, set after keith gave up his spot at the team, the rest of the team is mentioned - Freeform, the team is mean
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-08
Updated: 2020-12-08
Packaged: 2021-03-10 04:28:11
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,176
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27964565
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Prongs_writes/pseuds/Prongs_writes
Summary: This has a lot of angst so I hope you're ready. Also, title inspired by the song "Heard you crying", by Michael Schulte
Relationships: Keith & Lance (Voltron), Keith/Lance (Voltron)
Series: To be heard [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2048069
Comments: 8
Kudos: 134





	I heard you crying

**Author's Note:**

> This has a lot of angst so I hope you're ready. Also, title inspired by the song "Heard you crying", by Michael Schulte

Keith couldn’t sleep. Call it insomnia. Call it stress. Call it whatever you’d like. He just couldn’t and training wouldn’t cut it. He was also getting sick of staring at his bedroom ceiling so he did the next best thing. He went for a walk.

His steps echoed through the Castle’s empty hallways, all of the lights dimmed out and glowing in faint green as they did during the night cycle. He passed by the rooms of the rest of his team quietly then started making his way through, hoping it would clear his head or at least tire him out enough to make him fall asleep.

His feet were getting cold against the bare floor and he wondered why he didn't grab some shoes. Not even the red lion slippers he had hidden under his bed. But the cold was even welcome, grounding, and soothing, so Keith just embraced it and continued about his way. He missed the Castle. Being away with the Blade was fun and the missions sure were interesting but being back felt like coming home. Not to mention that he’d missed his team too. He owed Kolivan another thanks for letting him get a break and visit. 

Time passed, he wasn’t even sure where he was or if he knew how to make his way back but he wasn’t too concerned either. He briefly wondered if Hunk would be mad if he dropped by the kitchen to grab some of the leftovers from dinner but decided against it since it seemed like too much of a chore. 

He stopped by a wide window, the galaxy spilling in front of him, millions of stars glowing and shining in the vastness of space. They reminded Keith of the times he spent in the desert with stars as his only company as the cold of the desert night seeped into his thin clothes and made him shiver. But that was always fine because he had the stars to give him their embrace.

He touched the cold glass, fingers grazing the surface ever so briefly before he stuffed his hands in his pockets with a sigh. Perhaps going back to bed would’ve been a good idea. It was never a good thing when his mind started to wander back to those times. The times when he was alone, isolated, and craving any kind of warmth and kindness.

Just as he spun on his heel, fully intending to retrace his steps and slip back into his room, back under his warm blankets, a sound caught his ear. Now, look. Keith always had good hearing. Perfect even. He prided himself in it and was very well aware that it was a bit above a normal human level but that never bothered him. All of those things may seem unimportant but the thing was, Keith trusted his hearing even before he learned that he was part Galra and even more when he knew it. 

So, as soon as he realized that there was something else besides the humming of the Castle filling the otherwise silent hallways, he froze. Body at ready, shoulders tense, ears strained. He tilted his head to the side, bangs falling and covering the right side of his face as he held his breath and waited and there—there it was again. A muffled sound that reminded him of a choked back sob.

Another one followed soon and Keith realized that it was coming from the room just a bit down the left, opposite of the direction that he came from. He tiptoed over, footsteps light and ever so silent as he carefully approached the door. 

Unlike other rooms in the Castle, that one didn’t have any door. It was just an open frame, wide enough for two people to pass through freely and nothing else. And usually, Keith ignored the room. It was just an empty observation deck with nothing but bare floor and glass walls that gave a view at the surroundings which tended to get boring when it was always the same. Stars, upon stars, upon stars. 

Keith discovered the room during their first movements in space but quickly grew bored of it, picking training and just roaming around to fill his time instead. So could anyone blame Keith for downright creeping around? Especially since it was night cycle and he knew that the observation deck was all the way at the back of the Castle where nobody ever went because it was so far away from everything else? Everyone was supposed to be asleep so the mysterious sound could be coming from anything.

He finally reached the entrance but stopped, held his breath again, and waited because there were no more sounds so maybe he was wrong. Too many ticks passed and he was ready to abort the mission, blame his sleep-deprived brain on making stuff up, and just go about his way when Keith’s ears caught onto that sound again. 

Determined, Keith whipped his head, stuck it around the corner, and peeked ever so carefully into the room. And he almost didn’t see it, the small figure curled up all the way at the front with his face buried into his arms and hidden away from everyone. His frame shook with yet another sob and that was a confirmation enough. What Keith caught onto was the unmistakable sound of someone crying.

Keith immediately wanted to leave, feeling bad for intruding on what was clearly a private moment as dread filled his stomach. But something made him stop, glued him to the ground, and forced him to just observe with a curious gaze and mouth set into a thin line. 

Lance lifted his head, and yes, it was Lance. Keith couldn’t mistake that jacket for anyone else’s. He clumsily wiped his face with his sleeve followed by a sniffle and a hiccup. Just as Keith thought that maybe it was nothing and maybe Lance was just having a moment, even already calming down—he broke down again. 

His entire body shook as he doubled over, heavy sobs ripping out of his chest as he cried out a heart-shattering, “Why? Why me?” He even struggled to catch his breath, hands clutching at his arms, his head, his face as he continued to call out for answers which never came.

And the way he said it, so broken and hurt, so desperate made Keith freeze, his heart sink and hurt in a way he never experienced. He held his breath as Lance continued to cry, repeating his questions again and again and again, voice hoarse and watery and so, so hurt. 

He couldn’t take it anymore. Something took control over him and his feet moved on their own accord before he realized what was happening. Fiery determination took over as he approached Lance with quiet steps. It didn’t really matter how quiet he walked because Lance couldn’t hear him, not with how loud he was crying and how much he was trembling all over.

The more he approached, the more he felt it. Something taking a hold of his heart, mind, soul, filling him with the need to protect, to help, to fix in any way that he could. Because nobody deserved to be that sad. Nobody deserved to look as if they’re in so much pain. And nobody deserved to cry their heart and soul out in an empty room where nobody could hear or help or do anything.

Nobody. And especially not Lance. 

Keith knew very well what it was like to be alone, helpless, lost and he would be damned if he let Lance experience it, too. Not when he could do something about it.

He dropped down to a crouch, knees hitting the ground as he shuffled closer.

That seemingly got Lance’s attention. His head whipped up, blue eyes blowing wide as he stared at Keith in panic. His face was blotchy and tear-stained, eyes puffy and red-rimmed, hair a mess from pulling and running his hands through it. He looked like a deer caught in a headlight with his mouth forming a small ‘o’, eyes unblinkingly staring at Keith.

Keith could see the exact moment when terror took over. Fear filled every inch of Lance’s face. Regret, embarrassment, shame flickering through his stunned expression as Keith sat there, face empty of emotions, and waiting. 

And just as Lance opened his mouth to speak, Keith cut him off. He laid a gentle hand on Lance’s shoulder, offered it a gentle squeeze as his face melted into something more approachable and warm, eyes going soft. 

“It’s okay”, he whispered, trying to sound as quiet and soothing as possible because Lance needed something gentle, caring and comforting. Not his usual rough approach.“It’s okay, Lance. Let it out.”

And that should’ve been enough to tell him just how serious the situation was.

Lance.

The Lance McClain who declared them rivals, who claimed to hate Keith with all his might, who couldn’t go a day without antagonizing him and picking on him every chance he got.

That Lance, threw himself at Keith.

Strong arms wrapped around Keith’s middle, desperately holding tight as Lance buried his head into Keith’s chest, and let out the most broken sob Keith had ever witnessed. 

And Keith was never good with people. Physical contact made him uncomfortable and feelings even more so. He never knew what to say or how to act. But at that moment, he simply followed what brought him here in the first place and wrapped his arms around Lance in return, tucked his head into the crook of his neck. Like that, they settled into a more comfortable position and Keith simply held Lance tight through every shake, every cry, every desperate, “Why?”

“It’s okay. It’s okay, Lance. I’ve got you, buddy”, he mumbled as he rubbed Lance’s back in gentle circles but that only seemed to spur Lance on. He held more tightly, shuffled just that much closer, cried just a bit harder.

Eventually, Lance’s cries subsided, his hiccups stopped, and there were no more salty tears running down his freckled face which was still tucked against Keith’s shoulder. Keith didn’t mind though. If it helped Lance to simply sit still and be held then so be it, Keith could do that. Lance may not think of him as a friend but to Keith, he was one of the most important people in the universe.

Lance understood him better than everyone, helped him so many times, and supported him even when he doubted himself. He accepted him as his leader even when Keith couldn’t accept himself and always held his back no matter what.

He was kind and he was goofy, and silly, and funny, and overly flirty but Keith never minded. Because Lance was there. And he was always there. Always in Keith’s corner. And Keith would be damned if he wasn’t there for him in return. 

Suddenly, Lance started shuffling. One hand came up to gently push against Keith’s chest and his hold on Lance lessened enough for the other to switch position so that his head was lying on Keith’s shoulder, one arm still wrapped around his waist as he draped Keith’s over his shoulders. 

Keith took the hint, pulled him closer, and held him like that, allowing Lance the time and space to collect himself and figure out what he wanted. Time passed and Keith got so lost in watching the stars move around them with Lance’s warmth seeping into him that he almost missed it when Lance started talking.

It was quiet, weak, soft, but Keith still caught it, his attention zeroing on every sentence, every word that Lance had to say. And Keith took it all in because deep down he could feel that it was important and not just another one of Lance’s teasing lines and playful insults.

“Reminds me of home”, he began, gaze distant as he looked at the stars and Keith figured he was talking about them, “Makes me feel like I’m there again, ya know? The ocean. The night sky covering it as I sneaked out to go to the beach just so I could get another glimpse and try and find the constellations my sister showed me. The reflection always looked beautiful in the water.”

Keith simply nodded, determined to let Lance speak and say what’s on his mind, ready to take it all in because every word Lance had to share was important, a treasure, a gift Keith valued more than anything.

There was a beat of silence where Lance’s eyes filled to the brim with uncertainty before he sighed and started playing with the hem of his jacket with his free hand. “I miss them a lot”, he whispered at last.

And Keith’s heart ached because that look, that crestfallen and drained look, had no business in taking over Lance’s entire face. Lance said nothing more, simply sat there, playing with his jacket, his fingers, biting on his lower lip. He was completely zoned out and more distant than ever despite still being tucked against Keith’s side, snuggled under his arm and against his chest. 

Keith took a moment to observe him more closely. 

There was something...different. He knew that something had been off with Lance as soon as he returned and he wasn’t there to greet him. Maybe that was his growing feelings taking over and fooling his brain into thinking that Lance would be waiting for him at the deck with his usual smile and open arms. But Lance wasn’t even on deck at that time. Lance wasn’t anywhere and nobody knew where he went. 

He took his time with saying hi to everyone, filling him on his work with the Blade and what he had been up to while he was away from Voltron. And all that time his entire body buzzed and itched to just get going and find Lance, to see what was wrong. The opportunity struck only two vargas after his landing and Keith all but bolted to Lance’s room where he found him, tired and pale.

There was no smile, no teasing, not even a, “Hey, Mullet.” Just a small wave, an absent-minded, “Oh, you’re back”, and nothing else. No emotions, not anything. Just an empty shell of what used to be the bubbly boy just a couple of phoebs ago.

And the weirdest thing was, Keith tried to ask the others what was wrong but it was as if nobody else noticed but Keith. He noticed it all. He noticed how there was no fire in Lance where it used to be. No energy, no passion, no spark. 

He thought that he already witnessed all of the horrible things that life had to offer but at that moment, Keith didn’t think that there was anything more tragic than watching someone’s spark die out. Watching as it disappeared from their eyes, leaving them dull and empty and so, so cold that not even the stormiest skies could match them. Draining the blue, blue, blue to the saddest of seas and darkest of days.

He really tried but Keith didn’t manage to get through to Lance who seemingly avoided everyone like a plague. They would spar, they would hang out, but something just wasn’t right and Keith’s lack of people skills wasn’t helping him at all. 

Lance looked tired and not just because of lack of sleep which was apparent with Keith sitting so close. He could easily see each and every dark lash fan out across his freckled cheeks and count every little dot that decorated his skin. Even all messy from crying, Lance had a certain beauty that was just so Lance that it made Keith’s heart skip a beat but that wasn’t a moment for those kinds of thoughts.

He licked his lips, eyes jumping all over Lance’s face as he tried to gauge his reaction, picking each word carefully and letting them out in the open. “Earlier”, he began, eyebrows knit together, stomach tossing as he suddenly became nervous, “Y-you said...you were asking why. Why you.” He left it at that and sent a silent prayer that Lance would understand what he was trying to say with it. 

Lance sucked in a quiet, sharp breath but Keith heard it. His eyebrows knitted together and he turned his face away, hid it from Keith’s prying eyes as he mumbled, “It’s not important.”

“Not important?”, Keith spluttered, trying and failing to keep his voice gentle, “Lance you were… I’ve never seen you like this. It has to be important.”

“Well, it’s not”, Lance persisted and Keith didn’t even have to look at him to know that there was a pout on his face, just like there always was when he argued with him.

Normally, Keith would snap, let him sulk in peace, and just leave but this wasn’t a normal situation. Instead, he took a deep steadying breath, reminded himself why he was doing that and that Lance was clearly distressed. Keithe needed to be the rational one in that conversation if he wanted to get anywhere with it and he wanted it more than anything else at that moment.

So he tried again, calmer, nicer, more sincere. “Lance”, he pulled him in just a bit more, squeezed his shoulder tighter to get his attention and get him to focus on what he was going to say, “I’m here. Talk to me. Please.”

There was a beat.

Then two.

Three. Four.

A sigh, wide shoulders slumping further, some more shuffling. A voice, so quiet, so scared, so broken. A gaze, so distant, so unfocused as it fell on the shaky hands which were resting on Lance’s lap. He finally said but Keith wished that he didn’t because he wasn’t ready for the pain that followed.

“Why me Keith? Why am I going through this?”

And oh, how Keith’s heart ached. He could feel something squeezing it, agonizingly slow. “Through what?” he managed to get out.

But it was as if Lance didn’t hear him. His voice got shakier with each word he said, more watery and it sounded like he was choking back a sob every few words. It was clear that he was pushing himself to get every word out but he still squeezed his eyes shut, balled his fists even though his hands still shook, and spoke through gritted teeth. 

“Why me? Why am I here? Why wasn’t it somebody else? I didn’t want this. I never wanted any of this. All I ever wanted was to make my family proud but now all I want is to go back home because I can’t do this anymore!”

The last bit was all but screamed in desperation, echoing a bit through the empty room and shaking Keith to his core, before Lance broke down, head clutched in his hands as he continued to talk through his cries. “I miss my family. I miss my life. I miss the time when people cared.”

“People still care, Lance”, Keith tried but all he got was a furious blue glare as Lance pointed a finger at him.

“They care but nobody cares about me.”

“Lance that’s not true”, Keith spoke as he tried to stay calm but he could feel his composure crumbling down because it hurt. Hearing Lance talk like that hurt and Keith didn’t know what to do. He felt...He was offended. “They do. They really do.” I do, he wanted to say.

“No. They don’t”, Lance spat out, “Because if they did somebody would’ve noticed. Somebody would’ve said something. But all they ever do is ignore me and make fun of me. I’m the goofball. The nobody. The seventh wheel. I was never even supposed to be here. I’m useless.”

Keith wanted to say something. Object, explain, tell him otherwise. However, the opportunity never struck because Lance was still talking, still pushing even though salty and bitter tears were streaming down his face as he waved his hands around and wiped his running nose on his sleeve again.

“Nobody ever does anything. ‘I wish I was like Lance. He’s always so carefree and happy’, they said. If they spared a second glance they would see how downright miserable I’ve been. I haven’t stopped wishing for all of this to be over so I could go back home and never see anyone again for months and I can’t take it anymore. I just can’t. I--I--I’m sick of it. I’m sick of life. I don’t-- I can’t--”

His breaths started to quicken and Keith reacted on instinct, reached out and pulled him back in. He wrapped his arms around Lance’s shaking frame as he started to claw at Keith’s back, scratching and hitting, words streaming from his mouth despite the sobs. Lance continued, despite the hiccups, despite the fact that his voice was hoarse and breaking with each and every word and that each breath was labored and harsh. 

“Tell me this is real. Please, Keith, tell me this is real. Tell me I’m not making it up. It hurts. It hurts so much. It hurts more than anything. I feel like I’m falling apart. Please, please, please…” Lance begged.

And Keith squeezed him tighter, voice steady and strange even to his own ears because he was never that choked up before, “It’s real, Lance. It’s all real.” 

At that, Lance stopped. It seemed as if he wasn’t even breathing even though Keith could feel the steady rise and fall of his chest against his own. “Why does nobody help me then?” he asked, and Keith? He wanted to cry himself because Lance sounded so wounded, so miserable, so...lost. 

“Keith, I-- Not even my best friend notices anything. I try, and I try, and I try, but they all just brush me off. They can’t see me or hear me. How can it be real when nobody ever says anything? When nobody notices? When nobody ever asks if I’m okay? When...Am I not worth it?”

“No, Lance”, Keith immediately shushed, cut off any other rambling that Lance had at ready in his own panic to make the other see and hear and understand, “No, no, no. You’re worth it. You’re so, so worth it. The team wouldn’t be here without you. You’re the most important part. It’s not me. Or Shiro. Or Allura. It’s you. All you.”

“Then why? Why?” and he could feel him clutching on the back of his shirt, head ducking down, and hiding in his shoulder which immediately felt wet but Keith didn’t mind. He would offer Lance his shoulders and then some more in a heartbeat any time that he needed it.

Keith was lost. For that one, he did not have an answer. He couldn’t understand it either. Couldn’t wrap his head around the fact that Lance felt so alone and isolated when Keith felt anything but whenever he was around. He couldn’t know what was happening with the rest of the team or why or what went wrong even though he wished he could.

“I don’t know”, he replied honestly, feeling as Lance held him tighter, “I don’t know and I wish I did. If I could I would take it all away. But, I promise, you’re not alone. I’m here. I’ve got you.”

They stayed silent for a while, just the sound of their breathing and heartbeats filling the quiet room as the stars moved and shone all around them, making them feel as if they were the only ones in the universe.

“Keith?” came a soft call.

“Yeah?”

“I don’t think that I can do it”, Lance fearfully confessed. “It’s...It hurts too much. I just want it to be over.”

Keith gulped, squeezed his eyes shut when salty tears started gathering but that didn’t stop a couple from slipping down his cheeks, nose, chin, into Lance’s hair. “Want what to be over?” he gritted out.

“Life,” Lance managed to choke out. “Everything. I can’t take it anymore. I’m sick of nobody caring or seeing or hearing and I’m sick of everything. I don’t want to hurt myself. I don’t want to hate myself. I just want it to be over.”

Keith did the only thing that he could. Pulled Lance closer, held him with as much care and warmth and comfort that he could provide, shushed him with the kindest words and the softest whispers. “It’s okay, Lance. I’m here. You’re not alone anymore.”

And Lance listened to him, body going limp against Keith’s as he sobbed into his shoulder despite ‘thank you’s’ and ‘I’m sorry’s’ spilling from his lips with each tear that slipped down his face. Every time he clutched Keith’s shirt tighter. Every time his frame shook with another sob.

“I’ve got you, buddy”, Keith promised as he held him through it all, meaning each and every word, vowing to himself that he would help the blue-eyed boy even if that was the last thing that he did. 

“I hear you.”

**Author's Note:**

> I just had too many feelings and decided to put them on "paper". I hope you liked it. I'm sorry if somebody is feeling too sad or hurt. I hope everyone finds their Keith in times when they need him because everyone deserves him.
> 
> I might be expanding this small series even more. Not sure. 
> 
> If you liked this, please do consider supporting me on my other social media: https://linktr.ee/ATheGhostQueen


End file.
